apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
