i think my mom watched the whole time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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