C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
