so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
