I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Randomize
