Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
