He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
