he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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