Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
