Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
