we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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