i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
