Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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