I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
