well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
