just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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