It's Friday. Sex?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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