Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
