i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
