Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
