Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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