Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
