Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize