WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
