I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
