so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
