I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
