I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
