You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
