My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
