so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
