Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
