For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
