I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
