Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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