I can tuck mytits in my pants
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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