Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
