just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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