that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
