when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
