Tell her she can't have a vagina
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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