Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
