Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
