just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
