I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You need Xanax blowdarts
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
