Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
