you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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