I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
