He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
