Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
