I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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