Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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