well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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