i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
