i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
