yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
