it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
