No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
