I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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