I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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