So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
