The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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